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How do you show yourself love, kindness, and compassion?
This is the question I’ve been asking readers in our most recent giveaway—and it’s a question I’m deeply exploring for myself as well.
After more than 50 years of life experience, here’s what I’ve learned: no matter how hard we try, beating ourselves into transformation doesn’t work. It just won’t.
Table of Contents
- Why Self-Love Matters More Than Self-Criticism for Weight Loss
- Overcoming Perfectionism to Embrace Self-Compassion
- How I Practice Self-Compassion in Everyday Life
- Two Simple Techniques to Build Self-Compassion for Weight Loss Success
- Additional Resources for Building Self Compassion
- Related Weight Loss Resources on Simple Nourished Living
Why Self-Love Matters More Than Self-Criticism for Weight Loss
Lasting, meaningful change requires big doses of love, kindness, and compassion—not harsh self-judgment.
If you struggle with food and weight, you already know the heart of the struggle isn’t really the food—it’s often how we feel about ourselves.
Hating yourself won’t make you slimmer. It’s impossible to hate yourself thin.
Extreme self-criticism only leads to frustration, defeat, and burnout.
The only real path to lasting weight loss and wellness is learning to love yourself right where you are. There is no shortcut.
You have to stop hating yourself for everything you aren’t and start appreciating yourself for everything you are. That’s why in Day 2 of Slow & Steady Weight Loss we write ourselves a love letter.
Overcoming Perfectionism to Embrace Self-Compassion
For most of my life, perfectionism held me captive. I worked hard to avoid looking less than “just right.” But striving for perfection only confines us and keeps us from living happy, healthy lives.
True growth comes when we’re willing to risk mistakes and expose our vulnerabilities.
We must stop expecting perfection and learn to accept and enjoy ourselves despite our imperfections.
So I’m learning to be kinder to myself. I allow myself to try new things, experiment, make mistakes, say the wrong thing, or even look goofy. It’s scary—but it’s worth it.
How I Practice Self-Compassion in Everyday Life
One example: I’ve stopped sneaking food. Instead, I give myself permission to eat what I want openly—no guilt, no shame.
When I want a spoonful or two of ice cream before bed, I call out loud, “I’m having a spoonful of ice cream! Anyone want some?” Sometimes my husband joins me, sometimes not. Then I savor the cold, sweet creaminess fully—without remorse.
This kind of kindness toward myself is a game changer in my journey toward lasting weight loss.
Two Simple Techniques to Build Self-Compassion for Weight Loss Success
1. Talk to Yourself Like a Friend
What would you say to a friend who is struggling or facing a setback? How would you say it? Now compare that to how you speak to yourself. Start talking to yourself with the same kindness and encouragement you would offer a friend.
2. Write a Compassionate Note to Yourself
Find 10-15 uninterrupted minutes in a quiet space. Write to yourself as if you were a close friend who loves and accepts you just as you are. Acknowledge your struggles and setbacks as a normal part of life. Reflect on positive, supportive things you can do to feel happier and healthier.
Additional Resources for Building Self Compassion
- The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive by Kristin Neff and Christopher Germer
- Good Morning, I Love You: Mindfulness and Self-Compassion Practices to Rewire Your Brain for Calm, Clarity, and Joy by Shauna Shapiro
- Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive by Kristin Neff
Related Weight Loss Resources on Simple Nourished Living
- Motivational/Inspirational Quotes for Weight Loss
- The Power of Positive Thinking for Weight Loss
- To Lose Weight Stop Stressing About It
- 2 Tips on Letting Go of Perfectionism
- Learning to Like Yourself: The foundation of Weight Loss Success
- Why Humility and Kindness are Critical to Lasting Weight Loss Success
I allow time to be still and relax wether I get everything done or not. Relax with my dog and up of coffee.
I had learn to take care of myself first and to stop beating myself up over what I consider my “failures” Changing my thought patterns, eating healthy food and getting myself off of the couch and exercising everyday has made me a much happier person and I am able to give more of myself to others.
I make time to do at least one thing in my sewing room each day. It may only be to cut fabric for a project at a later date or actually sewing for a few minutes but at least I am in that room doing something I really enjoy. I also pamper myself regularly with a manicure and pedicure – both are so uplifting!
I try to have a positive attitude every day. I remind myself how blessed I am. And I try to do something nice for myself.
I guess that I had to nearly die to learn how to love myself. On July 2015 I had a near fatal PE. I had over a hundred blood clots in the 5 lobes of my lungs. My Dr. said I was lucky to be alive but next time I might not be so lucky. I knew I was overweight but when the Dr. said I was obese and large deposits of fat smothering my lungs and heart and if I didn’t loose at least 40 lbs and get moving and keep moving I may not be around for much longer. That is when I contacted the local YMCA and ask if they had any discounts for disabled seniors and was given a scholarship. I found Aqua Zumba and Intensive Aqua Areobics. I do this 2 times a week I also walk daily. This is how I love and pamper myself. With exercise and a nutritionist I have lost 35 lbs.
I try hard to eliminate negative thought from my mind by praying.
I start each day pampering myself so I will be happier about me and every one else’s day I no I can do all things thru Christ Jesus
I too started being a couch potato when my job was over . With no one left at home to take care of. I did nothing , however I decided to begin walking and rediscovered the library. I love to read and walking gives me energy.
I give myself time each day to read for pleasure, no matter how busy I am.
I love this post! For long time I had been stuck in a couch potato phase that I could not shake off. Sure enough my pounds were adding up as my self-esteem was dropping. So I started practicing one of my young adulthood passions again: Muay Thai.
I know, it may be a little extreme for some, ok for many, and YES there were several times I felt I was going to pass out, omg, but I kept a it and now I love it again because it made me focus on what matters: yourself.
Too many people rely on products and quick-fixes that do little to no good in terms of achieving long-term weight loss benefits. Start loving yourself, and if martial arts aren’t your cup of tea that’s totally fine. There’s many other methods that bring incredible lifestyle change from within, and that’s the stuff that counts!
Have a great weekend everyone!