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I received a great email from personal finance/business blogger Ramit Sethi this morning. A young Stanford graduate with a degree in psychology, I love his behavior-based approach.
The email was titled: Problems Smart People Have
As I read it, I realized this could easily be re-titled, “The Problems Smart People Have with Weight Loss.”
So, I’ve taken the liberty to re-write his message from the weight loss perspective.
(They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?)
Here’s my re-write of Ramit’s brilliant email….
Let’s talk about the psychological oddities of smart people…
They might be really good at their jobs and have gotten great grades, but being smart also leaves people with odd problems in different areas of life, like weight loss for instance.
)Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #1: They Over-Think Everything
Smart people tend to over think things, sometimes to the point of analysis paralysis. Since they can see lots of angles—in fact, they’ve been rewarded for seeing multiple angles—they often can’t accept what’s in front of them.
How could they? They were trained to see beyond the obvious.
Should I join a gym?
Count my macros?
Go Paleo? Try Keto? Maybe Whole30?
SmartPoints or PointsPlus?
Low fat? Low Carb?
4-Hour Diet?
Nutrisystem?
Hire a trainer? Which fit-bit is best? How many reps/sets?
Have you read the latest study from???…..
This can be ideal when they’re considering complex strategies or life decisions. But when it comes to weight loss they should just trust that it’s really as simple as eating a little less and moving a little more…
Really. It works. Every time my golden retriever starts to get a little pudgy, I skim a little off her cup of food and increase the length of our walks. And every single time she slims down.
What works for my golden retriever will work for smart people like you and me too.
Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #2: They’re Perfectionists
Welcome to Ramit’s Lesson #593 on losers:
No/low standards = loser
High standards = awesome
Perfectionism = loser
It’s an odd backwards-bending curve, isn’t it?
No/low standards, and you take anything you can get. Think of the people you know in this category, people who have no boundaries or standards. Ugh.
On the other hand, high standards show you have selectivity and options. This is someone who sets boundaries, knows who they are, and is unapologetic about it.
Then…
…you have perfectionists.
Perfectionism can be crippling.
I’ve come to realize that it’s the smart person’s version of Fear of Failure.
“If it’s not going to get me back to my ideal weight/body shape, why even bother?”
Or…
“I was so good all day and then I grabbed a cookie before starting to work on dinner. Now I’ve totally screwed up my tracking for today so I may as well have the rest of the cookies and all a pint of ice cream for dinner. I’ll start again tomorrow.”
Seriously, this is the way perfectionists fail at eating better and losing weight again and again and again! To lose weight and keep it off you have stop expecting perfection!
Related: 10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman’s Diet
Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #3: They’re Afraid of Looking Stupid
When I was trying to teach personal finance at Stanford, everyone seemed excited…until it came time to attend the class. (Which was free.)
Nobody came!
I later discovered that people hate going to events about money because it makes them feel bad about themselves.
Especially smart people.
The psychology:
“I’m smart. I should already know this. I don’t want to go and ask a stupid question. I should figure this out on my own.”
It’s the same exact mentality with weight loss.
Instead of seeking support or hiring a professional to help, we decide that we should be able to do it on our own.
Even though we may not know nearly as much as we think we do about the best way to lose weight.
I think that’s why kids seem to do better when coached to lose weight. They just do what you tell them and jump in with both feet.
And why Behavior Expert and Lifetime WW BJ Fogg admires people who come to meetings: “They are the ones — the few — who are really trying to improve their lives. As I see it, those who go to Weight Watchers are top-notch people. “They’re willing to risk looking stupid and being vulnerable in order to lose weight an improve their lives.
P.S. What smart people problems with weight loss have you noticed? Leave a comment. I love reading them!
All these comments hug home, thank you for all the insight, hints and tips. I’m going to try to do better just because now j know I’m not alone .
I feel like my weight issues consume me at times. It is tied into my feeling of self-worth and value. Logically I know better however, it is hard to handle to change a lifetime of negative thoughts. I am taking one day at a time and not living by the number on the scale.
This article really hit home. I always had to get A or I wasn’t happy. I thought I had to have the perfect family, house ,clothes, and food when I was entertaining. I thought I had left that in the past, but your article made me realize I do the same thing with weight loss. It has to be perfect or not at all. Thank you for the insight into myself, hopefully I can work on this and finally become successful. Barbara
I’ve always wondered why intelligent people who have great careers and really seem to have their lives together can’t do this one thing. They have everything under control, except for their eating. The first point about over analysing everything and simply not seeing what is in front of them really made sense. I lost 100 pounds between 2017 and 2018 through reducing calories, portion control, exercise and sheer will power. I didn’t join any clubs, I didn’t need to pay money to reduce my calorie intake. I did it by myself – it is possible.
Hi Jan, Congrats on your successful weight loss! It’s great that you were able to do it on your own. My extensive reading on the topic, including findings of the National Weight Control Registry, suggests that about half of successful losers do it on the own, the other half do it with the support of a program. There’s really no one size fits all solution. The key is to find the approach that works for you. All the best. ~Martha
I agree with this article too…its so overwhelming with all the diets that are out there…i used to be skinny in my 20s but i hardly ate anything to keep thin..then year after year i gained a little at at time…i had tried weight watchers and other diets and lose weight…but to me it is very stressful…when you have to think about food all the time….i am a picky eater and there are a lot of foods that i just dont like….when i went to ww meetings…i always felt like i was in a competition and i am not competitive…i wish there was a way to lose weight that was easy…where you didnt think about and worry about what you were eating at any time and anywhere….my husband is tall and then…he just counted calories to lose weight….but that is stressful because i am not sure what to fix or eat and i feel stressed out when trying to fix meals for us two…and try to save money…i dont like leftovers….i grew up with them but never liked them but had to eat them..then you read about all the bad things each diet offers….i do like fresh veggies but not all fruits…so how you can win a constant battle? i am now in my early 60s and kind of gave up…..i need to lose about 35 pounds…i am 5 7 and about 170…i used to weigh 115…at least i guess i am a smart person because i want everything to be perfect…and easy….but i am not smart about eating the right things..
Amazing the power of perspective I read the article, was bowled over both as a life long struggler and as a therapist, at how accurate it was for me. As I read through the comments I came to MY COMMENT, clearly from awhile ago. I’m learning to stop trying to understand, sort out reasons v. excuses, feel like I just want to be “normal” in relation to food and eating habits, and so much more. This was a great wake up call. Thanks for reposting, Martha.
Holy moly, I thought you were saying on me when you wrote this. It hits home hard. I’m glad to know it’s not just me.
Wow! Can I ever relate not just to the article, but to most of the responses to the article. At this very moment, I’m trying (YET AGAIN) to “decide” what the best diet will be for me. I kept thinking about trying Keto, but decided that, for me, it was not a healthy option (I have moderate kidney disease). I have a basic urge to not want to count anything like calories, points, grams of carb, and I also don’t want to feel like there’s anything that it totally prohibited in my diet. My hope is that it will become a perfectly healthy lifestyle taking little thought. Right. Not happening that way. I need to choose SOMETHING and stick with it. As of this moment, I choose WW and will count points (Freestyle). Thank you for posting the article. It just made me think things through and make the best choice for me. Now to stick with it! I think I can do it! I know I can!
Yes you can!
When I finished read this I’m thinking you identified me to a “T”! Scary as it was I gathered insight into the reason I might have been slow or even failed previously but this time around I have a different mindset. I’ve joined WW for me and no one else! I know I deserve to be the person that has been hiding behind this body! I’m excited but also anxious bc I’ve made the decision to not weigh at home, track EVERY item I eat, and wear the same clothes each week. I CAN do it!
Yes you can. I am here behind the computer screen cheering for you 🙂
Thank you so much for this explanation. Each of the 3 reasons is a “bingo” to me. I have yo-yo dieted for many years – decades, actually. And no, if I blow it at one meal I can’t just get right back on it. At that point I’m done. I’ve been a lifetime member of WWsince 1973, but you would never know it to look at me. I’m very discouraged.
Hi Jan, In our all you can eat food world, losing weight and keeping it off is tough. Don’t beat yourself up!! Every day is a new opportunity to begin again and make different choices. – Martha