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I received a great email from personal finance/business blogger Ramit Sethi this morning. A young Stanford graduate with a degree in psychology, I love his behavior-based approach.
The email was titled: Problems Smart People Have
As I read it, I realized this could easily be re-titled, “The Problems Smart People Have with Weight Loss.”
So, I’ve taken the liberty to re-write his message from the weight loss perspective.
(They say that imitation is the highest form of flattery, right?)
Here’s my re-write of Ramit’s brilliant email….
Let’s talk about the psychological oddities of smart people…
They might be really good at their jobs and have gotten great grades, but being smart also leaves people with odd problems in different areas of life, like weight loss for instance.
)Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #1: They Over-Think Everything
Smart people tend to over think things, sometimes to the point of analysis paralysis. Since they can see lots of angles—in fact, they’ve been rewarded for seeing multiple angles—they often can’t accept what’s in front of them.
How could they? They were trained to see beyond the obvious.
Should I join a gym?
Count my macros?
Go Paleo? Try Keto? Maybe Whole30?
SmartPoints or PointsPlus?
Low fat? Low Carb?
4-Hour Diet?
Nutrisystem?
Hire a trainer? Which fit-bit is best? How many reps/sets?
Have you read the latest study from???…..
This can be ideal when they’re considering complex strategies or life decisions. But when it comes to weight loss they should just trust that it’s really as simple as eating a little less and moving a little more…
Really. It works. Every time my golden retriever starts to get a little pudgy, I skim a little off her cup of food and increase the length of our walks. And every single time she slims down.
What works for my golden retriever will work for smart people like you and me too.
Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #2: They’re Perfectionists
Welcome to Ramit’s Lesson #593 on losers:
No/low standards = loser
High standards = awesome
Perfectionism = loser
It’s an odd backwards-bending curve, isn’t it?
No/low standards, and you take anything you can get. Think of the people you know in this category, people who have no boundaries or standards. Ugh.
On the other hand, high standards show you have selectivity and options. This is someone who sets boundaries, knows who they are, and is unapologetic about it.
Then…
…you have perfectionists.
Perfectionism can be crippling.
I’ve come to realize that it’s the smart person’s version of Fear of Failure.
“If it’s not going to get me back to my ideal weight/body shape, why even bother?”
Or…
“I was so good all day and then I grabbed a cookie before starting to work on dinner. Now I’ve totally screwed up my tracking for today so I may as well have the rest of the cookies and all a pint of ice cream for dinner. I’ll start again tomorrow.”
Seriously, this is the way perfectionists fail at eating better and losing weight again and again and again! To lose weight and keep it off you have stop expecting perfection!
Related: 10 Habits That Mess Up a Woman’s Diet
Smart People Problem with Weight Loss #3: They’re Afraid of Looking Stupid
When I was trying to teach personal finance at Stanford, everyone seemed excited…until it came time to attend the class. (Which was free.)
Nobody came!
I later discovered that people hate going to events about money because it makes them feel bad about themselves.
Especially smart people.
The psychology:
“I’m smart. I should already know this. I don’t want to go and ask a stupid question. I should figure this out on my own.”
It’s the same exact mentality with weight loss.
Instead of seeking support or hiring a professional to help, we decide that we should be able to do it on our own.
Even though we may not know nearly as much as we think we do about the best way to lose weight.
I think that’s why kids seem to do better when coached to lose weight. They just do what you tell them and jump in with both feet.
And why Behavior Expert and Lifetime WW BJ Fogg admires people who come to meetings: “They are the ones — the few — who are really trying to improve their lives. As I see it, those who go to Weight Watchers are top-notch people. “They’re willing to risk looking stupid and being vulnerable in order to lose weight an improve their lives.
P.S. What smart people problems with weight loss have you noticed? Leave a comment. I love reading them!
Thank you for this! I can relate to this a lot. I am going to try to have a new mind set starting now! You look so great!
I find all your emails relevant and insightful, but none more than this one. I have been so guilty of all these problems in the past! Diet after diet, being perfect, then falling off, feeling like a failure, quitting, etc. Depression setting in. I had that “all or nothing perfectionist” attitude about it which got me nowhere except higher on the weight scale. Patience, persistence, and positivity have helped me get almost to goal after 15 months of WW. I’ve learned I was not as smart as I thought I was “back then” and that it really is a battle of wills (mine and that voice in my head that always got me in trouble) ha! I guess I’m a slow learner because it took me until the age of 61 to “Get smart!”??
Hi Evelyn, Thanks for taking the time to share these important life changing thoughts. I’m so happy for you. Sometimes our lessons take longer than we wish, but better late than never!! Congratulations on your success.
I agree with this article, but I would like to object to one generalization. There are those of that are very serious about improving our lives, but going to WW meetings is practically impossible. I live in a rural area of Texas. The nearest meeting is an hour’s drive away, and the meeting times are very limited (only two per week). I would love to attend meetings, but cannot, given my work schedule and location. So, what to do? I am an online member, I belong to the local fitness center and work out regularly, I go to Connect, I track regularly, and I use online resources. I know the comment was not meant to be negative, but many, many of us live in rural or remote areas. I do struggle due to a lack of camaraderie and weekly encouragement, but I try to cheer myself on and ignore the critics and saboteurs. Fortunately, I have a very supportive and encouraging husband!
With that said, your emails, articles and recipes have been a great resource for me. Thank you!!
You’d think WW would figure out how to do virtual meetings for folks who can’t attend traditional meetings. They could use GoToMeeting or a similar platform. I have had online class meetings in this type of format and I think it really fostered a sense of being part of a team.
I’ve had the same thought! Hopefully they are working on figuring it out!!
I work as a PA in internal medicine. Before I started WW I definitely felt embarrassed about going to meetings because I already knew how to lose weight. I counsel patients about it everyday! However, what I know is that weight loss isn’t just about knowing what to do or having the physical capability to do so. If that were true almost no one would be overweight and you certainly wouldn’t see obese doctors.
For me 99.99% of weight loss is supratentorial 😉 It’s not solved by force but with heart.
It should also certainly be clear by now that if you could blame, guilt or shame people into an improved condition obesity would already be eradicated.
It takes support, patience, loving kindness towards ourselves and others, practice and lots of persistence.
Thanks for the article. I enjoyed reading it.
Carrie
I thought this was a great article. Thank you! It really “hit the nail on the head” with me. I have been going to WW and I has kept me from really gaining, but I cannot seem to “get with it”totally. I am also angry with myself for not doing this several years ago, when I was younger, and now I feel like when I do really lose, I will not be happy with the way I look. That’s the perfectionist in me! I must do it for my health though, and will start “tracking” today!
I got a lot out of this article. One of the hurdles I’m struggling with is I’ve been telling myself I need some new recipes, to get with it. They’ll be exciting and help me stay on track. Wrong! I need to stick with my tried and true recipes right now, and not waste my time perusing websites and making myself hungry looking at all those delicious foods. Once I get some headway getting my eating under control, I can give myself permission to look at your recipes and try one a week, to see if I want to add I think to my repertoire.
I got a lot out of this article. One of the hurdles I’m struggling with is I’ve been telling myself I need some new recipes, to get with it. They’ll be exciting and help me stay on track. Wrong! I need to stick with my tried and true recipes right now, and not waste my time perusing websites and making myself hungry looking at all those delicious foods. Once I get some headway getting my eating under control, I can give myself to look at recipes and try one a week, to see if I want to add I think to my repertoire.
My problem is not really being a perfectionist…I can totally blow it at lunch and then get right back on track at the next meal. My issue is with giving up, i.e., I bounce from diet to diet, like Weight Watchers, Atkins, Nutrisystem (lost 32 pounds 5 years ago, gained 25 back), Keto, back to Nutrisystem (expensive), back to Atkins, back to Weight Watchers (can’t lose anything), back to Low-Carb (lost 25 pounds in 2000), you get the idea. I try something for 2 weeks, lose no weight at all, then try something else. I have already quit WW in 1 month and gone back to Keto, which I just ruined by having ice cream cake today, so I am thinking about starting WW again tomorrow. I feel hopeless….
That is me i do ww but then i like counting calories. So confusing because they both work
I can relate to your post. I do exactly the same thing. Keep looking for something until you hopefully find something that works. Can’t stick to any of them! ??Uggh!
Yes, it DOES all apply. SO do outpsyching the program, yes-but-ting, and “compensatory cheating.” When I was really successful, the first time, I learned what cheats showed up when, which clothes to wear if I had cheated a bit so it wouldn’t show on the scale, how to convince myself as I headed into class, of all the reasons the scale might be up a drop, and why I had to learn to eyeball measurements and stop journaling if I ever wanted to achieve “normal.” I also believe that we don’t all need exactly the same thing in a program. One of the things I learned about myself was that I responded way better to the early, rigid version of the program , while friends really needed bonus points, and others responded to having the option of breakfast for dinner, etc. Frankly, I would love to see the program develop a survey application form that, like a flow chart, led us to the best answer for each of us, within the overall program.
I totally agreed with your email and appreciated it, as I was just thinking this a.m. I’m really at a stand-still and NOT losing. Taking a very good look at myself I am a perfectionist and felt your #2 comment was ME all the way! What I’m going to try is going back to the SMART POINTS and see what happens in the coming week! Thanks so much for your advise!!