What do you think when you see this brownie a la mode? How does it make you feel?
One of my favorite teachers said something recently that really resonated with me: "The more you allow yourself to live the life you want, the less power food has over you."
It's been weeks and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, probably because it sums up my decades of food struggles so succinctly and perfectly.
Food is one of life's great pleasures. I look forward to my daily meals and the occasional snack, as much as I ever have. Pausing to eat lends rhythm to my day and can be so very delicious. A few spoonfuls of a brownie a la mode is still one of my favorite desserts and probably always will be.
The trouble comes when food becomes our ONLY source or primary source of pleasure. When thoughts and and the preoccupation with food consumes us. That's when we end up eating too much too often, expecting food to fill us up in a way it can't and then paying the consequences with weight gain and lost health.
The truth is that food is a poor substitute for an unfulfilled, unhappy life. I know because I've been there. I used to depend on food way too much. I expected it to:
- Calm me down when I was stressed.
- Befriend me when I was lonely.
- Make me happy when I was sad.
- Entertain me when I was bored.
- Bolster me when I was feeling unconfident.
- Energize me when I was tired.
- Distract me when I was anxious.
- Soothe me when I was hurt.
- Love me when I felt rejected.
And somehow compensate for:
- Unfulfilling work.
- An exhausting commute.
- Lack of social connection.
- Money woes.
- Health issues.
- A failing marriage.
But that is way way too much to expect from food!
While food can nourish us. It's only one form of nourishment, the physical kind. Food is designed to nourish our bodies, NOT our minds and souls.
We need so much more to thrive in life:
- Relationships that support us.
- Work we love or at least, like.
- Something meaningful to do.
- Something or someone to love.
- Physical activity.
- Things to look forward to.
- Rest.
- Hobbies or activities that we lose ourselves in and delight us.
- Water.
- Ways to cope with and relieve stress.
- Friends to have fun with.
- Things we believe in passionately.
- Meaningful spiritual practice.
The more I have addressed all of these aspects of my life, the healthier my relationship with food has become. Accepting myself and giving myself permission to create the life I want has helped me bust free from the food-related shackles that once bound me. For the first time in my life I'm experiencing FOOD FREEDOM.
It hasn't been easy but it has been SO WORTH IT. It's taken me decades to get to where I am today and I'm far from perfect. But the good news is I don't have to be. And neither do you. All you need is patience, persistence, self-compassion and the willingness to slowly and steadily work to create the life you want.
When we focus on getting happy and living the life we want it's so much easier to resolve our issues with food and our weight.
Are you expecting too much from food? Are you ready for FOOD FREEDOM?
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Chelsi
Love this! I often find myself relying on food for things it has no power to give. I want to be free from it, too!
Martha McKinnon
Thanks, Chelsi. It's so worth learning to enjoy food without being enslaved by it!
Jenn
I've been struggling with my weight for what seems like forever and am a big comfort eater. I'm good for a few days and then right back into the bags of candy and chips. I'm so sick and tired of it.
Lisa
Great post with a lot of wonderful insights. Thanks for sharing!
Sarah
Thanks so much for this! What a well stated description of my relationship with food! I love, love, love that your site is called simple nourished living, as that has been my mantra of late, that food has to fuel, or nourish our bodies....but as you stated we often expect so much more from it. I plan to be visiting here often!
Martha McKinnon
Sarah,
You are most welcome! Nourish is a word that really resonates with me too. I feel like learning to nourish ourselves inside and out is key to living a happy, healthy, balanced life.